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We need to Train Leaders
18 There is no one to guide her
Among all the sons she has brought forth;
Nor is there any who takes her by the hand
Among all the sons she has brought up.
” (Isaiah 51:18, NKJV)
29 “The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.
” (Deuteronomy 29:29, NKJV)
Our Theology is Imperfect as we know
Many church leaders like saying “When you find the perfect church please don’t join it because you will make it imperfect”. This is then seen as somehow profound and everybody gives a wise nodding chuckle.
However in reality this anecdote is used to enforce mindless submission to flawed theology. Young men are not encouraged to seek understanding but rather to “believe” half-truths.
Treat Theology Like we Treat Science
What is more complex and mysterious, the periodic table or the Bible? Quantum Physics or the Kingdom of God? Psychology or SPIRIT?
Why then do we approach the periodic table, quantum physics, and psychology with a conviction that our understanding is flawed and limited, but we approach theology with a dogmatic know-it-all arrogance?
Be Honest
When churches are honest about their limited compliance to scripture they prepare young men for an intelligent growing truth in the future. They should treat theology like universities treat science. This is what we know, this is what we think, this is what we guess, this is what we hope and this is what we don’t understand.
They should also list their cognitive biases. They should be honest and intelligent about their nonrational hopes, goals, fears, and overreactions. Admitting and listing your flaws is humble, truthful, powerful, and very useful for young men.
Saying to young men that what you believe and teach is only 75% perfect is very powerful. It demonstrates humility and creates scope for them to relate to God without having you as the middleman. Not positioning yourself as the middleman in the long term is mission critical for young men’s growth, development, power, masculinity, and future.
Mothering and Fathering
Fathering is equip-and-release while mothering is nurture-and-control. Both are good when operating in context and balanced by one another but damaging when operating alone or out of order.
The husband has authority over the wife and should help and guide the mother through the process of relinquishing control over her son. The mother will instinctively worry about the dangers ahead and yet the greatest damage and failure would be if the boy stays with his mom and fails to launch. As an aside, you can father a 40-year-old, but mothering a 40-year-old is perversion unless the person has Down syndrome.
Infants and Young Men
For theological babies, we need to nurture and control them but for boys and young men we need to equip and release them. This will make them powerful and useful to the village.
Teach them to read and to write and then let them go!
IFF you are a FATHER and an ELDER they will always come back for a chat and for advice and coffee!
