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5 Stages in a Man’s Life Testimonies
Albertus Liebenberg
I did the Stages in a Man’s Life when I was 23 years old. I have always been very conscious of my masculinity and strived to be a good and dependable man based on the example of my father. I have, however, also often struggled with critical shortcomings that left me frustrated with myself.
Stages in a Man’s Life opened my eyes to the critical role each stage I have gone through has played in the man that I have become thus far. It has made me incredibly grateful for the manner in which my parents have raised as it protected me from a lot of pain. It has, however, also given me incredibly valuable insights as to which areas of my development (emotional maturity and communication skills) have not been up to standard and consequently contributed to my shortcomings. I identified specific infant and boy tasks that I have not fully mastered and the course has given me the tools to work in improving in these tasks. This has been incredibly life giving to me as it has made me a better man and friend and prepared me to become a better husband.
I did the course a second time with my girlfriend and it has helped us in opening up about how we were raised, mistakes our parents have made and what they have done right. The course has set us up for a truly godly marriage in which we are better equipped to understand each other’s shortcomings, support each other’s growth and be better prepared in raising our children to become goldy, mature and well equipped men and women.
The course has been life giving to my relationship with my father as I have grown to understand him better and respect him for the big step up he has made from growing up without a life giving father figure. It has encouraged me to use the base my father has given me to become an even better equipped man. Ultimately, the biggest blessing of this course was to gain a better understanding of how God designed masculinity and how to give proper expression to it.
Garrick Bach
The course of 5 Stages in a Man’s Life had a profound impact on my life as a man. It gave me a deeper understanding of what true masculinity really is- Something that our world desperately needs.
One of the biggest realizations for me in the course was that true masculinity is life giving. A man cannot be life giving if he is still an infant who only cares about his own needs. True and fulfilling manhood is being a provider and giving life to those around you. I learnt that a boy exposes a woman’s vulnerability whilst a man covers it up and protects her. The realization that a man actually has the ability to fulfil his wife’s emotional needs was revelational. Without doubt it will go very far in my future relationship with my wife.
A big central theme for me across the entire course was the concept of “returning to joy.” So many men in modern society feel like they have been exiled from joy with no way to return. 5 Stages in a Man’s Life provides valuable insight on how a man can “return to joy.”
Since I have done the 5 Stages in a Man’s life I have seen myself grow in my confidence as a man and take my place in the world as an unwavering man of God.
Ryan Shearer
This course above all affirmed me of my masculinity. In our crazy society it can be hard to hold onto conservative/traditional beliefs; Rolf helped me realize that its ok to be a more traditional man embracing conservative Christian masculinity. I think these values are pillars you can build your life upon. More than anything it was just realizing the fact that being a conservative man is ok; this course gave me a community in which I could be reaffirmed of this.
This renewed idea of masculinity redefined for me what it meant to be a Christian man, I think many people think Christian men are “nice” in the sense that they are weak, but now I see that this is just what the world paints Christian men as when in fact that is not at all what being a Christian man is about.
Understanding the different stages in a man’s life and identifying where I am on that journey has helped me understand what I need to work on as a man in order to fulfill my potential in this sphere of my life.
This course was a compass that gave me direction in the journey of becoming a man.
Simeon Marais
The 5 stages course was very life giving to me. It provided a platform for me to ask real questions about masculinity and femininity and the discussions helped frame my worldview around how men and women relate to each other and how we should relate to God.
I was challenged to ask myself the difficult questions regarding my own “boyish” behaviour and I was pushed to take my own masculinity seriously and to actually seize my own identity as a young man.
My greatest takeaway is the fact that being a man is good, and that I enjoy being a man, and that I’m made by God to be a force of good in the world that is life giving to others around me.
LJ van Staden
The journey of a godly man is navigated by Dr.. Wilders’ book and refined with Rolf’s eldership.
Inner truths, personal responsibilities, and your view of God will be challenged.
“I do not have to prequalify to receive love” This truth is motivated by an infant’s idea in the course, yet it could save so many grown men from themselves.
Men, we have responsibilities. It is expected of a mature boy to identify, manage and solve his emotional needs; as a man, this task is considered crucial.
Most of us are motivated by fear and not abundance; the latter is a lesson I learned from Rolf and the other men who took this course. I sincerely hope you get the chance to expose yourself to that.
Young Man is the stage I am currently in. In today’s world, the context of manhood is severely distorted and misunderstood. Developing a healthy view of masculinity helped me grow closer to the godly man I was designed to be. The way I perceived my father dramatically changed when I entered this stage.
I now understand that men seek to conquer and that our conquest induces dishonourable campaigns if we are not mentored. History shows us repeatedly that man has a great capacity for evil.
Therefore, we must do our utmost to forge our habits, fears, and goals according to the craftmanship of God.
An environment shapes its beasts, and this course shapes Elders.
Dewald Reynecke
The 5 stages in a man’s life course dealt with the different stages that a man will go through to physically, and spiritually, grow throughout his life. The course discussed the 5 different stages (infant, boy, man, father and elder), with brief discussion on the key aspects (for example the needs an infant or tasks that I father should be able to do) of each stage. I felt that the course created a space for the younger generation to connect to the older generation, creating a space to be vulnerable, also bringing together men from different backgrounds. The sessions had both a practical (interaction and discussions) and study section (reading scripture). It showed me that there should be a healthy balance between your physical and spiritual self.
For growing up I had this image, to be a real man, you need to be the best player in rugby and that you shouldn’t have any emotions (for example, a real man does not cry). My speech was one of the biggest struggles I had, for I did not know how to convey what I am feeling and relaying my thoughts to others around me. The discussions we had brought valuable insight for me on how to improve my speech and finding the necessary process to keep the struggle of communication at a minimum. The interaction with the group at the different sessions, gave me more insight to how I can help those around me with the same problem, also how to interact with people from different backgrounds. It gave me a hunger to press into God’s word and to incorporate scripture more in everything I do in my life. Discussing the different stages, made me more aware of my actions and reactions, in terms of everyday life and what a possible result should be (becoming an elder for the community where I stay).
It showed me that a lot of bad situations has been turned around to glorify the Father, for the situations that I went through can help those around me when they have similar questions or situations (being a testimony of what Jesus has done, pointing those who need encouragement, to Christ). The interactions with the others in the group, especially the older men, has inspired me to continue asking questions and to widen my perspective of life. Whilst discussing the father and elder stage, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy, for the discussions reminded me of the people in my life that helped me get to where I am, having these characteristics. One man that came to mind, was my dad, for he always went the extra mile to help out and support, even when he could not. I am grateful for being part of this course, for it helped me to see the bigger picture of how it looks like to be a man that seeks for truth and to only have a fear for God.
