The Fourth Goal: Father – Last Child 13yrs Old

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In the PARENT STAGE a man uses all he has learned in the first three stages to reach his highest peak–giving life. He already knows what he needs and feels. He is looking out for others like he does for himself. He now learns to give without receiving in return, as we will see in chapter eight. This makes him a father.

You know that you are a father when your child keeps you up all night, screaming in your ear, spitting up on your shirt, and then showing no appreciation for your efforts. You could have bargained hard, like a man, and said, “I’ll stay up with you tonight but tomorrow night you must carry me around,” but you didn’t. Instead you gave without demanding in return. This is the mountain peak you have trained for all your life. As you start this ascent, you know you are a dad.

The father knows what he needs. He already reached his infant goals. No one stays up all night and says, “I never need to sleep.” He can express his feelings about it as well, “I’m tired but I love my child.” He can take care of himself in the morning using the skills he learned as a boy. When his wife takes over, both are satisfied with the baby’s care. At work he drives a hard bargain, but at home he climbs above the tree line into unselfish giving. Only the man who has completed the first three stages can enjoy the climb.

Dad passes on the gift of grace by his unselfish giving. His child learns about having value without having to earn it. By staying up all night Dad says, “My child, you have great value to me. Even if you keep me up all night, spit up on my shirt, mess in your diapers and scream in my ear. Even if you do not care that I am here, you have more than enough value to lose sleep over.” That is a dad’s heart.

Dad represents God to his family. The chance to portray God is the greatest honor that anyone can have. The father becomes an example of God’s heart and character through his unselfish giving. This takes a while, and a father is getting the hang of it about the time his children become teens. By that time, unselfishness should be second nature to Dad, he will need it.

To be a giver of life, a father must have received enough life that he can spare some. He must share a home where he can protect, serve and enjoy. He must have a share in finding the resources that allow his children to mature.

The goal of fatherhood is to give life joyfully. As a father gives life, his children grow strong.

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