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Infants Exploring Masculinity
“Toxic Masculinity” occurs when infants or boys try to prove their masculinity or explore their masculinity without men or fathers guiding them.
Infants are selfish and will try to use their power to their own advantage. Men, as opposed to boys, have learned how to use their power not only to their own advantage but simultaneously for the advantage of others, particularly women.
When women run into men (as opposed to boys) they are safe and will be treated with love, friendship, dignity, and respect.
see Male Maturity
The Young Elephantbulls
A friend of mine was once involved in relocating young Elephantbulls to a game reserve in Northern Namibia. The Elephantbulls had been survivors of a cull in the Kruger Park. Shortly after their release in Namibia, the young Elephantbulls killed a rhino. This is unnatural and my friend contacted an animal psychologist, to inquire what had happened.
The story was fascinating. Elephant society is a matriarchy. The baby Elephantbulls graze in the herd with the cows until they become adolescents. When, at about 15 years of age, they start attempting to mount the cows, they get kicked out of the herd. These forlorn little Elephantbulls then roam the veld until they find Elephantbull herds usually led by an old Tusker (mature elephant bull). They hang out with the other bulls.
The old Tusker is an Alpha Male though and he sorts the young Elephantbulls out in short order. They learn pecking order and male bonding. They also learn what Elehantbulls do and do not do simply by observation, and a necessary rebuke every now and then.
Elephantbulls push over trees, ignore rhinos and the old bulls mount cows every now and then.
This discipleship-by-example of the older bulls helps the young Elephantbulls find their spot in life and helps them understand their male power and its limits. They learn pecking order and respect.
People (and elephants 😂) all learn with Monkey see Monkey do methodology and simply seeing one who is just like me gives the young bull the reassurance he is learning for the right person and he inadvertently starts copying the old Bull. He can never copy a cow in every way but he can copy an old bull in every way.
These young Elephantbulls are called Askari, the Swahili word for “bodyguard”.
When these young Askari are captured and released in their own domain, they do not kill the Rhino. They are comfortable with their power have been affirmed in their masculinity and have also learned its limits.
They are now an asset to the world and not a threat to the rhino or to the elephant cows. The moral of the story is that it takes a man, to make a man out of a boy.
